Joke of the Month for May

On Saturday morning, a roadie gets up early, as he has for so many Saturday morning rides, and softly slips out of the bedroom. He dresses quietly in the next room, grabs his helmet and water bottles, and goes out to pump the tyres. As the garage door opens, he’s confronted by an icy, windswept rain.

He’s ridden before in these conditions. He doesn’t like it, but when it’s Saturday morning he never misses. He ponders the dismal conditions and then retreats to the kitchen to tune a small TV to the Weather Channel. 

The forecast only sounds worse. This is one Saturday when he just can’t summon the determination. With a sigh, he slips off his shoes, quietly returns to the bedroom, undresses and slips back into bed.

There he cuddles up to his wife’s back and whispers, “The weather out there is terrible.”

To which she sleepily replies, “Can you believe my husband went riding in that crap?”

Joke of the Month for April

“Where’s your bicycle Vicar” I said, (because it was the first time I had seen him walking in 10 years!). “Don’t know, I think it might have been stolen”

“However  I will get it back on Sunday” he replied. “At my next sermon I will go through the ten commandments. When I get to ‘Thou shalt not steal’ God will sort it out, I’ve got faith”

The following week, sure enough he was riding the bike again. So I asked him if the ten commandments thing had worked as planned ?

“Well, I got as far as ‘Thou shalt not commit adultery’…….THEN I suddenly remembered where I left the bike..”

Joke of the Month for March

A pedestrian steps off the curb and into the road without looking and promptly gets knocked flat by a passing cyclist.
“You were really lucky there,” says the cyclist.
“What on earth are you talking about! That really hurt!” says the pedestrian, still flat out, rubbing his head.
The cyclist replies, “Well, usually I drive a bus along here!”